PASTA PARTY!

Greetings, all you magnificent people!  This is our first big event as an organization this semester, and your officers have been working their glutei off in order to bring it all together.  I'll outline what's happening in a handy-dandy list form, because that's…well, better.  It's gonna be a blast.

Dinner!

The main event is the Flying Spaghetti Monster dinner.  That's happening on Friday, September 23 at 6:00 p.m.  There will be spaghetti, obviously, and unlimited breadsticks.  Or at least that's what they tell us, but you and I both know that there is a finite amount of bread in the world, so…challenge accepted.  There'll be lots of breadsticks, is the point.  And soda.  For drinking.  Although I guess if you feel like putting breadsticks in your soda or soda on your pasta or something, that's fine too.

We'd love to make all this happen for free, but we can't, so plates will be $5 apiece.  That includes all the bread and soda and stuff, it's $5 to get in.

So there you go.  Friday.  September 23.  6:00 p.m.  Food.  Put it in your face.

Charity!

This is the fun part.  We're trying to get money from the school to cover our costs to make our profit margins as big as possible.  What'll we do with that money?  I'll tell you, my inquisitive compatriots.  What we're doing with the money is twofold.  Half of it will go back to our organization so that we can continue to put on awesome stuff.  The other half will go to Kiva.  Kiva is, to use their own words,

"a non-profit organization with a mission to connect people through lending to alleviate poverty. Leveraging the internet and a worldwide network of microfinance institutions, Kiva lets individuals lend as little as $25 to help create opportunity around the world."

We think that's a good cause in and of itself, but there's another reason.  You see, Kiva organizes itself into teams of donors, and they keep track of how many members give how much via how many loans.  You know who's number one on that list of 17,100 teams?

Know who's number four?  Europe.  Yeah.

That's right.  There are those who believe that atheists can't be good people, that we can't truly care about other people without religion.  4.9 million dollars ought to shut that up.  So we'll be donating half of our money to them.  Feel free to read more about them here.

Movie!

WHAT?  I know, but please restrain yourselves.  After we have dinner, there will be a movie, likely Flock of Dodos, showing at 8:00 p.m.  We're still a teensy bit shaky on whether that'll be in the same room or not, but we'll keep you posted on the Facebook page.  Flock of Dodos is about evolution and intelligent design, which is where the FSM story came from in the first place, so we feel it's fitting.

But excuse me, you point out, what are we supposed to do during dinner?  Talk?  Don't be silly, we're gonna have…

Music!

Our own Scott Heffernan and several of his friends will be playing their own reggae music during dinner.  Why reggae?  Because "Rastafarian" sounds like "Pastafarian," and rhymes are fun.

I can tell your minds are slightly blown away by now, beginning to melt slightly in the heat of awesomeness that will be this event.  Well, brace yourselves, my pretties, because there's also going to be—

A GODDAMN PIRATE COSTUME PARTY!

Holy effin' yes please, am I right?  We all know that the original Pastafarians were pirates, and that they were peaceful explorers, not the plundering rapists that Christian propaganda has turned them into.  In honor of their piracy, we're gonna have ourselves a good old-fashioned costume contest.  Prizes will include Olive Garden gift cards (because what could be more perfect a tribute to a god of pasta than unlimited pasta for the low low price of $8.99?), the Pastafarian Bible, and hell, maybe t-shirts if we can get our shit together and make some.  Again, updates will come on the Facebook page.

The Poster

Angus designed a poster for this event, and here it is in all its glory.  Actually, like 30 percent of its glory because there's not enough space for all that glory.

We will also be handing out/distributing/attacking people with these little ones.  Let Angus know if you want some (like if you're in a class that seems particularly pertinent).

Other Stuff

Here's the Facebook page for the event.  USE IT.  If we don't know how many people are coming, we won't know how much food to get, and then we'll run out of food, and then you'll be driven into a starved rage, and then there will be looting and rioting, and the Humanities building to burn to the ground, and then the National Guard will come in, and then the rest of Boulder will panic and fight them, and then the feds will nuke us, and then Russia will nuke everyone, and then all life on this planet will end except cockroaches and this will become a planet of bugs and no one wants that.  But that will definitely probably happen unless you RSVP to this event.  Saying "maybe" is fine.  That goes for people you tell about the event as well; send them to the Book of Faces.

Here's the official page of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in case you don't know much about His Noodliness.  We'll be reading a bit about it at the dinner, but if you want to brush up out of a pure lust for knowledge, then go for it.  Lust your little hearts out.

And finally, we need your help!  If you want to help out with passing out mini posters (oh hells yes we have mini-posters), promoting in general, or you have questions about the event or whatever, you tell Angus.  He's the Director of Promotion, and he wrote this whole page, so that means he refers to himself in the third person, and if that didn't just blow your mind then I don't know what will.


We'll see you soon.